25 December 2016 – Christmas Day
I am writing this retrospectively because with 12 adults and 3 children to feed and water, there was more chance of Honey donning a Christmas hat and singing “We Wish you a Merry Christmas,” than there was of me making contemporaneous notes. Not that I actually did any of the cooking, mind you.
The guests arrived a few hours before dinner, loaded with alcohol and festive goodies. Hubby wore Little Sis’ old school apron but it suited him.
Midway through sploshing port, sherry and mulled wine into glasses, I realised that the crisp white peephole shoulder jumper, with a silver sprinkling of snow on the arms, probably wasn’t the best choice of outfit. Surprisingly, it survived that and the erection of the Serrano ham stand (complete with full Serrano ham, in all its glory). I did need a little help from my Brother in law (a soldier with serious muscle power) but we got there in the end.
With guests safely in the living room, enjoying sparkle and laughing at Mum’s account of yesterday’s tantrum, Hubby and I started to transfer the mound of piping hot food into serving dishes. I didn’t notice the fat from the roast pork drip from the pan onto the tiled kitchen floor.
I may have slipped and landed on my behind with a bang. I may have also dropped the mountain of roast potatoes in my hand all over the floor. If that did happen, there would be no need to admit it because no one other than Hubby would have seen it.
As we had two mountains of roast potatoes, we had sufficient supplies (even for potato crazy Little Sis).
Champagne numbed the pain and the bruise didn’t come my attention until midway through Boxing Day. By that point I was already managing the pain of misjudging the number of enzymes that should have been taken along with my Christmas dinner (every Christmas without fail).
We had enough food for 30 guests. I sat down with my plate between Little Sis and my slightly loopy, slightly older Cousin (let’s just call her “Loopy”) who having apparently alternated between the classic Christmas tipples of champagne and Jagermeister, were well on their way (to dancing on the table). Loopy is actually 6 weeks my senior but in her head she never left fresher’s week.
Hubby didn’t actually sit down for dinner until most people had finished. Everyone cheered as he sat down. A merry (as a newt) family is a happy family.
H beamed constantly, running around with her cousins, playing the crazy carrot eating sheep game, eating chocolate and joining in on Charades. After watching several attempts, she stood up and confidently said, “Can I have a go?” Representing the girls’ team she drew a perfect square in the air for TV and snorted loudly. I laughed and shouted “Peppa Pig”
“Yes” she shouted back. “Well done Mummy”. Hurrah, I am a genius.
By 8.30pm we were down to 9. Me, Hubby, Mum, Dad, Little Sis, Brother in Law, Brother in Law’s parents and H (who after falling asleep in Grannie’s arms was tucked up in bed, sleeping like a Christmas angel).
We enjoyed liquor coffees and profiteroles. Little Sis slow danced to Frank Sinatra with her soldier hubby until the taxis arrived one by one to take the remaining family members home. The house was clear by 11.00pm
As Hubby snored on the settee (like a Christmas angel…) I surveyed the damage in the kitchen. The kitchen was a mess but we had been left with enough alcohol to run a pop up pub on ‘student night’.
26 December 2016 – Boxing Day
My tasks for the day:
Hubby collected LOB and BOB at lunch time and the Christmas cheer began again.
31 December 2016 – New Year’s Eve
Hubby and I manage a date. H enjoyed an evening with Grannie. The offer was conditional up on our returning home before midnight. Thank you Grannie.
1 January 2017 – New Year’s Resolutions
I also want to have thicker, glossier hair, stop eating chocolate and become a millionaire but I know the four I have listed are achievable, so I’m sticking with those!